Routine is a resource

This series explores the therapeutic potential that natures’ cycle offers us and how we can bring it into our daily life to support our healing, create resources, increase our capacity and resiliency, and encourage reflection.

To start, what is a resource? A resource is a person, place, object, living being, memory, a thing or anything that helps support you in finding a greater sense of safety, stability, capacity, comfort, regulation, connection, or choice. Its often the loving ways we can talk to ourself, the ones we reach to for comfort, that favourite song, that cup of slow morning coffee, that tree out our window. Therapy can focus solely on this, like in acute short term models, or be a part of a larger therapy process, like in depth long term oriented therapy (the way I am trained and work). In the zeitgeist (pop culture, social media, etc.) resourcing is often framed as a means to obtain regulation. Being regulated. Resources can do this but its to support us in all states of being. There is no optimal nervous sytem state. I dont believe in chasing regulation as a golden state of being. We are also meant to move in and out of regulation and dysregulation. To be in both at the same time.

The reflections & themes for September are harnessing the simplicity & power of routines. Routines can become a resource. It can be an anchor and structure. Our systems need some amount of structure and predictability to feel safe and steady, to have capacity and connection. Routine can support us in taking care of ourselves by making daily life, weekly, monthly or even yearly time feel manageable, leaving more time to attend to our relationships, our emotional life, our physical health, community engagement or whatever is important to you. Let the structure of your days do some of the heavy lifting.

Routine is freeing. With repetition and predictability to your days, your brain gets a break, you literally dont have to think about it anymore (its automatic), you recover precious time and energy. You have more capacity! You no longer need to keep track of another thing, remember endless “to do’s” or schedule more, routine does that for you.  

At this point, you're probably asking: WTF is a routine that you speak of Amelia?! Here are some examples. Here are some examples. Build yours as you choose and suits your life, life stage, hobbies and values.

Weekly

Sundays: always some food prep for the week to support health + mood, , slow long run morning time, built in free time for friends, family, community or house work. A slower pace.

Monday: get up 10 mins before the household to stretch, reflect, or meditate. Kid drop off, work day with a walk break, plant watering day, weekly bedtime routine to support rest & sleep after a full day (clean up, watch a show, get ready for bed, read, sleep by 10-1030. Repeat all week)

Tuesday: workout/exercise morning, work, walk break, kid pick up, book club night/volunteer night, board meeting night. Weekday sleep routine without tv to get to bed for 10-1030.

Wednesday:  get up 10 mins before the household, run before or after work, big meal cook for a few days. Bathroom clean day while kiddo has a longer bath. 

Thursday: 30 min work out to start the day, Therapy at noon, date night! (with your partner(s) or a friend). Same bedtime routine, cut something out to get to bed 10-1030ish.

Friday: morning walk, restaurant night out, movie night. Something light, fun, freeing. Bedtime weekend routine might be different. Bedtime pushed later

Saturday: a coveted sleep in (if we’re a parent maybe this means an extra 10-15 mins. Soak any amount in whatever stage of life you are in. Alternate with partners if needed), being active in some way (a hike, walk and coffee shop, a run and/or workout then coffee).  Some sort of house work (maybe laundry, cleaning floor days alternated with dusting). Free time for adventures, being social. weekend bedtime routine.

In this example, you don't have to think about planning walks or workouts. It's built in. You dont have to keep track of your plants or housework. It's built in. My community day, oh it's built in for Mondays. Therapy is regular and consistent; no more scheduling nightmares, remembering or forgetting. Routine can be more or less detailed than this. i.e. I make a big smoothie for 2 days every 2nd day on repeat unless I'm away or switch up a snack. It means I have a healthy snack that support my mood by making me happy and pleasured, my body through health, energy and satiety and I feel good in my body. This gives me capacity for my clients, myself and my loved ones. It takes a small amount of effort and time now that it's so part of my everyday life.

A word of caution: Don't make your routine rigid and inflexible. Make it adaptable for the changes that come our way everyday. No need to throw it all away either. A system with capacity has adaptability and flexibility and so should our routines. Be gentle. Give it a try. Experiment. 

Other examples to leave you with: a sleep routine, morning routine and/or medication routine, going for a walk 3 days a week, a friend date every week, a partnership date every week, meditation for 10 minutes, closing your door & having 20 minutes just for you. Seasonal routines.

What is one routine you can focus on and develop or deepen to become a resource in your life?

*Originally posted on my previous website’s blog September 1 2019